An anonymous analyst who spends too much time inside other people’s data.

By day, I run analytics and growth consulting for DTC brands — mostly on Shopify, mostly past the $5M ARR line where the dashboards stop telling a clean story and the misconfigurations start mattering.

Why the pseudonym? Because the most useful writing about ecommerce data is the kind that names patterns honestly — and the brands I work with deserve to have their specifics protected. Anonymity lets me publish what I see without anyone’s store getting identified in a case study.

What you’ll find here: field notes from real investigations, cross-brand patterns I keep running into, the occasional Shopify-config gotcha that costs more than people realize, and the rare opinion piece when something deserves one. Friendly, opinionated, never selling you a tool.

If a post here sparks a question about your own store — the door’s open. I take on a small number of consulting engagements each quarter, and the best ones almost always start as a two-line email about something weird in a report.